With kids at the pool

Calm water play for families

Quiet games that settle children down instead of winding them up, and a slow way in for a child who is afraid.

First

Keep them safe

An adult within arm’s reach of babies and young children, every minute. Pick one adult as the water watcher, phone away.
A Coast Guard–approved life jacket for any child who can’t swim. Water wings and pool toys don’t count.
No breath-holding games. Holding the breath underwater can cause a child to black out.
Hot tubs and spas aren’t for young children.
Children chill faster than adults. Blue lips or shivering means out of the pool and into a towel.

Six calm games

Play that settles

Each takes a minute or two. Finish every play time with the quiet minute.

Ages 3 and up, with a parent

Starfish float

Your hand under their upper back, arms and legs out wide like a starfish. Count five slow breaths together.

Ages 3 and up

Bubble breaths

Hum out slowly through the water, making a long line of bubbles. It calms the breath and makes the face near the water feel ordinary.

Ages 5 and up, with a parent

Listen underwater

Lie back in your arms with ears in the water and eyes on the sky. Name three sounds you can hear. Skip it with ear tubes or an ear infection.

Any age

Be the seaweed

Stand and sway with the water, arms floating up. Who can be the slowest seaweed?

6 months to age 3

Rocking boat

Hold them chest to chest and rock gently from side to side, singing softly. Babies need warm water, about 90°F, and about 10 minutes at a time. Out at the first shiver.

Any age

The quiet minute

Float still together for one minute in warm water. In a cool pool, sit wrapped in a towel on the steps instead.

Let go of the wall

The water confidence ladder

For Adults and children who are afraid of water
Time As many visits as it takes
Water Warm is best, 92–98°F

Sit on the step. Feet in. Notice the warmth.
Walk down the steps until the water reaches your knees.
Waist deep. Walk along the wall with one hand on the edge.
Lean back with support. A noodle under your arms, or a helper’s hand under your upper back. Your ears may go in, but your face stays up.
Float with two noodles, one under your knees and one under your neck, one hand still on the wall.
Let go of the wall for three breaths. Then hold on again. Notice what was holding you all along.

Fear is not the opposite of healing. It is often the doorway to it. Amal Lana

Stay on any step as long as you like. You can come back to a step on another day. There is no rush.

Safety. Stay where you can stand, with someone beside you. For children, a parent stays within arm’s reach.

All home practices

For a parent whose child is afraid

Many children who are afraid of water are afraid of falling backward, so leaning back comes last on the ladder. Go one step at a time and never rush. Before the pool, you might read Amal Lana’s own story of the girl who learned to cling, in Three stories from the water. For swimming lessons, look for a certified swim instructor; the American Academy of Pediatrics says lessons can help from about age 1. And remember what Amal Lana learned in the warm pool: “the floating was enough.”

Three stories from the water